& sometimes i wonder.....

why it is that things happen to me or say things towards me that i stay days dwelling on it and refuse to respond back to it....
its like really u just said that to me wow....
before i wouldve snapped and cursed em out i mean come on now im from the bronx!
but as the years have rolled by my mouth is still reckless but i think before i speak now.
so anyways someone said something that seeped into my blood and made me want to become back to whom i was and just be like fuck it they dont deserve the new me anyways if they feel that way...
i should always be number one if i cant be then wats the point?
im not trying to sound any type of way but if i made u who u r today and been there when no one else was and still am there whats so hard about just forgetting about certain people wow just because u grew up with them big deal!
alright thats my vent on that situation....

im so achy cuz yesterday i had no net connection for like 3 hrs! can u say i wanted to cry hell yeah i did want to so instead i cleaned and texted away on my new phone ....
so now im paying for all that cleaning cuz of my fibromyalgia its no fucking joke and sometimes people think oh shes just lazy no dumbass u dont know how hard it is to sometimes roll out of bed. to walk. to sit straight. to bend down. etc.
those who suffer with me know what im talking about and the people that think that im just too laid back about house work are just fucking retarded cuz when i do do it yo i go all the fuck out and theres no stopping me! that shit really irks me!

then i go to get some chocolate out the fridge cuz i woke up cranky as hell and my daughter ate all the good ones....it was the mixed hershey bag.... that shit was almost ten bucks and theres like a few kisses left like wtf? so i hid the bag so she can no longer dig into it lil chocolate feens i sweeaarrr i know they get it from me but damn!

branden is still sick hopefully he feels better cuz im telling u it aint pretty having to wake up to him crying cuz he did two types of accidents in the bathroom....*if only it was urine but it wasnt* BLAH! so imagine trying to clean two types of accidents in a tiny bathroom i so need two bathrooms in my next house one for these monsters and one just for me alone....

a girl can hope and dream... some day .... some day.... *sigh