just random quotes of mine

these are quotes i posted on twitter and wanted to blog em so i can remember em

'No one knows destiny till you fulfill it with eluminating love

'Didn't listen to others listened to my heart I knew he was the one right from the start

'Got an appetite for his love a thirst I cannot quench his love is bittersweet but it's the best thing for me

'Need to protect this fragile heart before someone comes along like a tornadoe to destroy it

'In pieces love can leave you sometimes false but once it's arrives it knocks you down n nolonger hurts

'Love holds no boundaries

'Can't love you from afar unbearable it is

'I'll die without being with you get sad when your not around just want to taste them lips

'I only ask to be with me love me adore me for eternity

'Love is dangerous but it can also be wonderful

'everytime our bodies entwine in our moment of passion i reach extasy

far from perfect...

i dont sit here and say im perfect im flawed like every human being
but i know in gods will i will be blessed again
i used to sing in church and loved every minute of it
i sometimes wish i can turn back the hands of time
but like i heard today someone preaching look and the mirror and say forget the past
god is with me
i dwell too much on my misfortunes
and on the hurt and the pain caused by family, friends and passed loves
i no longer want to live that way
so in my imperfect self i will find solice

best moments

are shared with the ones you love the most
right now im kinda sorta not really drunk
kids are sound asleep and needed some alone time with hubby
best momments in life is when u look at the one u love and theres that twinkle in his eye
im going to pay for his twic card so he can get a very good job that pays him 17 an hr. and they may be able to transfer him to texas which i would love to be close to my grandparents and auntie
whoa im blasted blogging
i probably forget about this

the best momments is when u see ur kids bonding with a family member and they get so attached ah my kids are such love bugs they are great

i love my rommie she makes me happy shes so special to me

ive decided to leave the negativity in my life out close but not as close as we used to be

id rather it be that way before we say things we dont mean to eachother especially since i got a reckless mouth

the best moments is watching ur child wake up and see their smilles
i love my life
its jadded but perfect and right for me
and i know sooner or later god is going o bless us big time...

leaving it all in gods hands

xo

poem untitled

written in 2001

your memory is like the sunshine
making the storms from the past
seem like a distant memory
but the light was gone
i wasnt it to return
once again
just a simple phone call
braught lite into my life
you gave me hope
when there was none
to love you
for you to love me
but will u hurt me
and break my tender heart
but i forgive u once again
so i could move on
but i will always have you
in the deepest part of my heart
forever and always

cant help but love you ....

i cant help but love the way u hurt me
cant help but love the way u lie
cant help but love the tears u make me shed
cant help but love when u make me cry

cant help but love u
jaded as we both are
loving u from close
and loving u from afar

cant help but love the way u caress me
cant help but love the way u kiss me
cant help the way we are
just simply us so meant to be

cant help but love the way u adore me
cant helpt but love the way u admire my body
cant help but love the way we make love
cant help but love the way we just show it off to everybody

no one cant stop our love
unperfect but yet oh so right
your my everything my all
my day and my night

where do i go from here ?

as im sinking furhter down the spiral road of my depression im thinking to myself do i continue further down or up...
they want to admit me to the hospital i really dont want to go but i feel the need to go to recapture who i was and stabilize my emotional and mental issues...
maybe its for the best so imma wait a while see if the bipolar meds will help me as i stay home
and enjoy my weekend vacation away at the poconos with the kids and their father.
my life is far from perfect right now
i need to grasp on to something before i keep falling down this depression
wheres my rope?
there aint none
hopeully one will fall down from heaven as i continue to pray....

and then there was us....

this past weekend hubby was amazing took charge and handle the house while i rested i hope he does it again this weekend.

the kids are okay ethan is feeling much better from his cold thank god

navayli begged me to give her a pedicure so i did a mommy and daughter pedicure session with her which come out mad adorable she loves it and im glad we get to bond and be so girlie together

so theres this new person in my life we will call her ms b so ms b wants to take me away for the weekend i asked hubby and he said okay as long as im a good girl so imma step my game up
ms b is amazing she listens and gives me attn. and shes just ugh amazing. her eyes are perfection. i cant keep going back to these girls that continue to hurt me just because im married its not right and not fair either eccept the whole package or keep it moving.

ms b needs to understand how really jaded i am and my multiple personalities lol i showed her one today cuz we argued over jewelz shes like u better not take her back im like yo just chill why they gotta be so jealouse about the past i dont get it oh wells

so today i went shopping and sent 30 bucks on cosmetics nailpolish etc i need to always have my toes on point every week has to be a new color or else it drives me nutso and even did a flower arrangement for my front window cuz it was looking pretty sad with nothing to make it sparkle lol

for some reason my itouch headphones sound so low then the other ones are like static ugh cant ever catch a break so he baught me new head phones hopefully they are good.

i love to sleep with music in my ears due to his severe snoring. lmao well atleast im able to sleep better sheesh!!!

well let me go finish cooking xoxo

dementedlee

dear venom...

why must we continute to go into these same circles....
why cant u c that i am trying to be a better person and women for ur sake
ive done alot of changes
was it not enough for u
why must ur words hurt me like a knife piercing my soul
why does ur love cause me to feel like theres venom in my veins
i want to scream and shout and tell u that u mean the world to me
yet u make me shut down
u make me feel like im not good enough at times
i know im broken
im damaged
intolerable
but im human
u vowed to love me forever in front of god
yet i feel like that love doesnt exist anymore in ur heart
i feel like im a burden
a thing u must take care of like a stray kitten
why must love hurt yet feel so good
do u love to make me feel this way
i cant cry
i cant sit here and tell u that i just want u around
i dont need luxury
fancy things or money to make me happy
all i need and ever wanted was just u
all of u
none of the rest of the bullshit from the past that seems to be lingering over ur head
dear venom
why must i love u so....

something new again?

lost ten lbs without much effort cuz i stopped the quick trim pills.

then on the other hand the doctor wants to test me for RSD which is basically idk more complicated then fibromyalgia because of my symptoms are too severe....
i just shrugged it off and acted very non chalant and it still hasnt bothered me because doctors are always saying certain things to me and the blood work always proves em wrong. first they thought i had lupus go figure .... but if i do have RSD idk how im going to react if its positive so we will wait and see after the EMG and the blood work....

hubby has been saying ive been really intolerable...idk how im just being me i mean i know ive been extra mean etc etc but um its just that TIME if u ladies get my drift lmao....


i went to my first ever premier. i went to see eclipse with marie and my roomie stephiie. it was so much fun! it was so crowded and all the lil girls and even grown ups with t-shirts that said team jacob or team edward. i thought it was the best experience of the year for me! lol. u can tell i dont get out much then my roomie had like a big bag of chocolate so after wards i had the only sugar rush because the new med my doc gave me made me extra woozy, so imagine i was like half asleep the bus ride towards the movies and the bus ride back i was a hyper lil one that couldnt stfu....

my cable was out for two days! it was hell i tell u!.... i called comcast and told them to go fuck themselves etc.... i am so wreckless with my mouth sometimes its going to get me into some deep shit again if i dont chill out but thats just me and if u dont like it then step!

i got hit up from my modeling site to do a gig idk if im going to do it or not i get 50% of the revenue from the site that my pics will be up at....
so lets see if its real or not... cuz i wont do anything unless im paid upfront i aint going to wait for no profit they is bugging!

well thats it for now... see ya soon

xoxo,
lee