where do i go from here ?

as im sinking furhter down the spiral road of my depression im thinking to myself do i continue further down or up...
they want to admit me to the hospital i really dont want to go but i feel the need to go to recapture who i was and stabilize my emotional and mental issues...
maybe its for the best so imma wait a while see if the bipolar meds will help me as i stay home
and enjoy my weekend vacation away at the poconos with the kids and their father.
my life is far from perfect right now
i need to grasp on to something before i keep falling down this depression
wheres my rope?
there aint none
hopeully one will fall down from heaven as i continue to pray....