am i dumb?

do i got stupid written on my forehead? cuz obviously i DO ! all i keep hearing is mutha fucking lies betrayal etc. i cant take this shit no more!!!! then the worst part is that I TAKE IT TOO SERIOUS or they make me out to be the bad guy wtf type of shit is that!!!

imma slap someone today i swear to god imma slap someone today!

im trying to contain myself but everyone i show it too and talk to about it say it wasnt fucking cool and fucked up but then again im the BAD guy ???? for being real and speaking my feelings and telling it how it is shit not cool!!!

blah fuck it it is what it is take it as another lesson learned fuck bitches get money

poem overshadowed

the good is always overshadowed with the bad

win or lose

cry or not cry

so overshadowed

i cant never win one battle

i fail everytime i try to stand up

my legs are weak

my tears continue to flow

win or lose

so overshadowed

sometimes i wonder why things happen they way that they did

i let go for a reason

for that person to be happy

yet im the bad guy

so overshadowed

win or lose

i cry

win or lose

i hurt

win or lose

im lost

win or lose

win or lose

overshadowed...

poem. untitled

i love the way u kiss me
sends shivers all over me
i love the way u tell me im beautiful
a thousand butterflies flutter my tummy
i love the way u smile at me
and they way ur eyes glow when u look at me
i love all the smallest things about you
that make happier than i have been in a long time
i love the way u just randomly grab me and kiss me
i love the way u make me feel
inside and out
never thought id feel this way again
but here u came along
my beautiful soul coming to mend this broken heart
thank you so much
from my heart to yours
forever will u be inside

update!

sometimes i sit and wonder why life is the way that it is? why must i continue to have a daily struggle inside with myself and my thoughts. the homefront is falling apart before my eyes. shedding tears alone and no one to hold me or understand why, why i constantly cannot smile for before me lies and guilt and shame always cloud my soul. i think that someday some day some day very soon all this will disappear. i was thinking about just saying fuck it all and bouncing! but i cant not when my kids are so happy hear. this place i can never call home. this place that has done nothing but destroy me to bits. i look around and i should be proud i did this i did it on my own but i aint. i look around and cry because idk when imma lose it all. when im going to lose my mind and just be put away and when im never going to see my family.

she got me smiling with every letter that she texts me. im in denial hard core. i dont want to be happy because i know its only a faze and sooner or later im the one thats going to be left feeling empty and alone like always....

hubby is broken and i have no crazy glue to fix him. he has reached his end and has given up and im continuing to try no matter what means and drastic measures i have to take.

thats it for now... i guess...

update!

so i created a store of my sexy pics hopefully i can create revenue off it and be able to maintain a living off my pictures ....

right now i cant sleep my brain is on over drive.!

so im seeing a new psych and therapist and they really digging in my head but i hope they help me with my jaded past that still haunts and torments me everyday of my life.

this past week ive been feeling great! ive been in a great mood and i hope no one comes along to fuck it up.

so i been chatting with a puzzle piece thats a code name and im hoping the puzzle piece while grant me the wish of having a BB and i cant wait to meet this puzzle piece.

i got back in contact with an old friend and i realized how much i missed her and we are going to keep in touch and hopefully when i go to nyc i can visit her see her and chill with her .....

sometimes i miss nyc i know everyone is out there and im all alone over here i have a handfull of "friends" but still nothing is like having ur childhood friends around the ones that really know you deeply inside and out.

my kids have been super loveable to me and i love being able to bond with them more now since ive been in a great mood. yesterday my oldest kept hugging me and told me he loved me and that made me feel even more wonderful inside.

sometimes i feel unpretty....like not good enough .... i guess cuz i grew up always thinking i was the ugly duckling ya know. but lately i been getting so much attn and compliments that its making me smile a whole lot more.

well thats all thats on my mind right now hope u enjoy the latest poems....

puzzle of my heart

all this time searching

for the missing pieces that i lost

the puzzle that is my heart

so incomplete

sitting there

staring at me constantly

searching high and low for those pieces

i think ive found one

im going to put it in and hopefully it completes the puzzle

the puzzle of my heart

will it be true

will it fit

i will sit and wonder

till then the missing puzzle pieces will remain missing

lost but soon found

my store

hey i created my own store of quotes pictures and graphics ill be making stay tuned for more to come

http://www.zazzle.com/passionz

jaded lil girl

lil girl in my soul

crying in the corner

still hurting

neglected

abused

molested

abused

used

unwanted

depressed

alone

crying

jaded lil girl

in my soul

lonely

sad

crying

constantly

lonely

unloved

jaded lil girl

poor jaded lil girl in my soul

reaching

wanting

yearning

crying

shattered

jaded lil poor girl

a wish...

i sometimes wish my life was different
that i aint have to feel so empty inside
that i aint have such deep seeded issues
that i aint have to cry every nite i sleep
i sometimes wish i was normal
what is normal anyway
i wish i aint hurt
i wish i wasnt born
i sometimes wish the waves would wash away this thing i feel
things thing i cant comprehend
nor explain in details
because words are empty
words are mere dust in the wind
i sometimes wish my life was different
that i could wake up smiling
instead of crying
i wish i would be a better person
inside and out
instead my pass has jaded me forever
trusting no one
loving no one not even myself
sometimes...
a wish...

please donate

please donate so i can open up my own domain all i need is 12 bucks thanks id appreciate it so that way i can have an official site for my poems

where did my knight go?

i was recued from a knight
from a castle of dismay and misfortune
hurt and abuse
where did he go
he seemed to have abandoned me when im the most frail
i want him to come back in that white shiny horse
with flower streaming from its tail
where did my knight go
catered to no longer exists
i felt my heart shattered
splinters pierce my soul
no longer whole
complete in utterly broken
forever
love no more
hurt more than ever
where is my knight
i look for him a midst the woods
yet i cry for him
yell for him
tears no longer wiped away
tears clung to my face embedded in my skin
like scars permanently
where is my knight
he was so perfect in the sunlight
perfect like the stars in the sky
where is my knight
he is gone
forever
my heart broken

lies of venom

your lies seeped into my skin
refreshing yet poisonous
i embraced em
wishing they would become reality
little did i know i was in your web of deception
i cried when u told me the truth
and still accepted it
i cried when i heard the lies
and refuse to believe it true
how could u hurt me so bad
how could love be so sad
lies of vicious venom
seeped into my brain
my soul
my heart
my brain
now its forever engraved in my skin
i will dying knowing that our love was a lie
that our love wasnt real
but a mere fantasy of mine